I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
