turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
