I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
