2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
