I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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