He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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