She's like a pop up book from hell.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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