The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
