Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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