I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
