Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Let's get the cat blown out
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
