I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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