Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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