My boss' voice literally gives me gas
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
