I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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