I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
