Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
