I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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