i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
