I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
