Your tits are I can't wait for
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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