turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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