Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
