sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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