You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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