yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
