I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
