I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
