I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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