just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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