I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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