I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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