i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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