so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I didn't notice because vodka
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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