im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
