I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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