i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
