The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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