the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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