I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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