none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Randomize
