Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
