called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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