Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she peed on how many people?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
