so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
