We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
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i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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