she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
