You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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