It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
