They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
