Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
