I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
