Screwed.edu
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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