This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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