His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
