And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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