i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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